


Breather

by Phandabbydosey



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Actors, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Overworking, Stress, actor!dan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-18
Updated: 2017-01-18
Packaged: 2018-09-18 05:26:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9369965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phandabbydosey/pseuds/Phandabbydosey
Summary: Dan’s finally had his dream come true. He’s given the chance to be an actor and, within no time, he’s landing lead roles and his success is skyrocketing. But what if it isn’t as perfect as it seems? What if it’s all too much for Dan to be a YouTuber, radio DJ and film star and no one other than Phil, not even Dan, can see it?





	

**Author's Note:**

> My tumblr is phandabbydosey if you would rather read this over there :D
> 
> Beta-ed by the lovely gatsbys-old-sport over on tumblr

Phil knew he shouldn’t intervene, Dan was finally living his dream and Phil would be a terrible boyfriend if he ruined it all for him. He sighed deeply as he knelt beside the sofa, gently tugging Dan’s shoes off then draping a blanket across the other boy’s slender body. He brushed Dan’s fringe from his forehead, gently kissed the exposed skin then left to go and spend yet another night sleeping alone.

He longed to have Dan cuddled up safely in his arms but he’d unwillingly adapted to an empty bed. Dan would regularly pass out on the sofa after eating his dinner, sometimes before he’d even had a chance to put the plate down.

It had been like this for a while, but Phil could easily recall the days before this; the days when Dan would always be excitable and lively and stay up until four am playing Mario Kart with Phil. The days before Dan’s dream came true but turned out to be more of a nightmare.

———————————–

It had all started with a phone call a few weeks after they’d recorded at the Disney studios for Big Hero 6. Of course, they’d both been told they did a great job, but the director had seemed particularly impressed with Dan’s acting skills. So impressed, apparently, that he wanted to meet up with Dan at the Disney offices to discuss more acting opportunities.

They’d both been so happy. It was no secret that Dan had always aspired to be an actor and that he regretted abandoning his hopes when he was younger. In a way he was glad because he might never have pursued YouTube or met Phil if he hadn’t been miserable and seeking comfort online, but acting was still his passion and, no matter what, Dan would always have a part of him that wished he could do it professionally.

And maybe now he would get that chance. They both just assumed he would given a small role, something he could do more for enjoyment that as a replacement income. They might get a little extra money, but neither were really that concerned about payment; they earned more than enough from YouTube alone.

Dan had literally bounced into the apartment after the meeting, a huge grin splitting his face open as he threw his arms around Phil’s neck as soon as he saw him. “They want me to be in another film!” he had cried out ecstatically, too excited to wait for Phil to inevitably ask how it went, “It’s not a huge part but it’s a character with quite a few scenes and he said if I do well then they might be able to find bigger roles for me in the future and oh my fucking god Phil I’m actually getting to properly be in a film!”

“Oh Dan, that’s fantastic,” Phil grinned, pushing Dan away slightly so he could press their lips together, “You’re gonna be a proper actor.”

——————————-

Dan’s first film had gone great. He didn’t have that many scenes so it was easy to fit the extra work in around their usual schedules and, since the film was being shot at the London studios, he didn’t have to travel far. Disney even let him take a camera in one day to film a little vlog for his second channel.

He and Phil attended the premiere together and Phil’s heart swelled with pride when his boyfriend appeared on the big screen. He’d given Dan’s hand a tight squeeze and gotten one in return, practically able feel the happiness reverberating off Dan. He’d dreamt about this since he was a child and now he was watching himself acting alongside A-List actors and actresses.

It was a dream come true.

The bliss lasted for the next three films Dan worked on. He’d gotten quite a lot of attention, the internet star who had a passion for acting, and was landing increasingly big roles in some pretty prolific films.

Then came the day he got it, the lead role in what was predicted to be an Oscar winning blockbuster. Dan had actually hit the big time and they’d thrown a party to celebrate, staying up past midnight with all their friends, drinking and dancing and just revelling in the joy of Dan’s dreams coming true.

Dan spent hours over the next couple months preparing, pouring over the script and practising in front of the mirror and going over his lines with Phil. Dan had even come up with a game where he had to stay in character and not laugh while Phil acted out the bedroom scenes with him. He’d lost quite a few times due to Phil’s endearing blushes and squeaks and apparent inability to dirty talk.

His upload schedule suffered a bit, but he made an effort to put a couple of videos out and he still did the radio show with Phil. He didn’t have much involvement with the planning, but he did the best he could with the time he had spare.

Surprisingly, when he started shooting for the film, Dan still kept up the semi-regular videos and did the radio show. He even started helping Phil plan it again, having felt bad for leaving him to do it alone before.

It wasn’t long before Phil started to worry. Dan would be out for full days filming, come home, eat dinner and speak to Phil for a short while before pulling out his laptop to work on his videos. It was around this time that Phil started to sleep alone, retiring to bed before Dan then waking up to find his boyfriend passed out on the sofa with his laptop still on and Final Cut Pro still open. He didn’t want to, but he’d then shake Dan away, give him coffee and breakfast then wave him off as he made his way to the film set.

Phil was sure Dan wasn’t eating properly; he tried to get him to have a full meal in the evening and a decent breakfast, but Dan was often out on set for ten hours at a time and god knows if he was giving himself time to have a decent lunch. Phil knew Dan had a tendency to put his work before his health. He’d gone to film on location up in Scotland for a two weeks, Phil staying back because he’d agreed to present something for the BBC, and Phil swore he’d lost at least a stone in weight when he came back.

The weight loss was a huge concern for Phil, of course, but he was also scared about how much caffeine Dan was consuming. He’d have his coffee in the morning, an unknown - but likely high - number of coffees throughout the day then multiple throughout the nights he stayed up to work. Phil also kept finding energy drink cans in the bin, though he never actually saw Dan drinking them.

It was obvious from just his attempts to stay awake and the nights he just passed out after dinner that he was overworking himself and not getting enough sleep, though the heavy purple bags on his increasingly pale face solidified it. Dan had just brushed off Phil’s comment about them, saying it was just the early mornings and that the makeup could cover them fine.

He either didn’t realise what he was doing to himself or was choosing to ignore it, leading to his state worsening exponentially. Even the viewers were starting to notice.

Phil knew it was wrong because it was Dan’s dream, but he couldn’t help wishing they’d never got that damn phone call.

———————————–

“Right Dan, we need to talk about this,” Phil said sternly, standing over the sofa with his arms crossed. Dan just looked up at him with bleary eyes, his mind struggling to comprehend why his boyfriend was so angry with him while still constrained with sleep.

Dan had passed out, actually collapsed, and Phil knew he couldn’t excuse his behaviour anymore. Phil had been standing in the kitchen cooking dinner while Dan went to get changed, having only just got back after a grueling day filming action scenes, when he heard a heavy thump from the landing. He’d rushed out to find Dan sprawled out across the landing, body curled up slightly and face peaceful. Phil had checked him over for any injuries but quickly concluded that he’d simply fallen asleep, too exhausted to put up any fight against unconsciousness.

Phil had just sighed and carefully carried Dan through to the living room, slightly horrified by how light the other boy was. He settled him down on the sofa, covered him with a blanket and waited for him to wake up.

“You passed out,” Phil explained after seeing the confusion in Dan’s still-tired eyes, “You passed out because you’re overworking yourself and not eating right and we need to sort this out Dan. You can’t keep going like this.”

“Phil, I’m fine. I’m just still adjusting to working more and it’s making me a little tried,” Dan’s voice was hard and firm, but Phil didn’t miss the way it wavered somewhat as Dan pushed himself up into a seated position.

“Dan, you’re not ‘a little tired’,” Phil snapped, getting fed up with Dan’s denial of the situation, “You’re completely exhausted. You’re losing weight and your pale and you look so fucking _drained,_ Dan. I’m…I’m really worried about you, I’m scared you’re going to hurt yourself with all this stress and work.”

“Phil, seriously, I’m fine-” Dan stopped speaking when he saw the look on Phil’s face, the ‘don’t you dare lie to me anymore’ look, and sighed heavily, “Alright, I’m shattered and stressed. But I don’t know what you want me to do about it. I love the acting and I’m still really excited about this film but I’ll disappoint so many people if I don’t make videos and I know you hate doing the radio show alone so, yes, I’ll admit I’m working too hard but there’s nothing we can do about it so we may as well drop it.”

Phil could see the tears shining in Dan’s eyes, threatening to fall as everything caught up with him. It wasn’t the first time Dan had pushed himself too far so Phil was pretty certain of what would happen next.

Memories of Dan’s ‘pre-dropout breakdown’ surfaced as Phil sat down beside Dan and pulled him into his chest, feeling dampness on his shirt as Dan clung to him but not commenting on it. “You need to take care of yourself Dan,” he cooed, running a hand up and down Dan’s back as he just held the sniffling boy, “You need to sleep properly and eat full meals and just give yourself time to relax every day. People will understand if you need to take a break from YouTube, they know you stress over videos a lot even when you have nothing else going on so they’ll understand if it’s too much to handle right now. I can phone up the BBC and ask for us to have a few months off the show, just until you’ve finished filming. You’re right, I don’t like doing the show alone so we’ll just take a break from that completely. I’ll do this month’s show because they’ll need to organise replacements and all, but after we’re not doing any until you’re done. _And,_ you’re going to eat three proper meals a day and cut down on the caffeine. We can sort this out and keep you healthy, you just need to listen to your limits and take a break when you need to.”

Dan hiccuped quietly but his tears seemed to have slowed down, Phil’s calm reasoning helping him settled down. “Yeah, yeah that sounds good,” he nodded and pulled away from the hug, looking into Phil’s eyes and smiling as his tears were wiped away for him, “God, what would I do without you?”

“Probably overdose on caffeine or give yourself a stress induced heart attack,” Phil stated matter-of-factly, making Dan laugh. Phil kept his hand where it had come to rest on Dan’s cheek after wiping away the tears and leant closer, pressing his lips against Dan’s and whispering into them, “But I wouldn’t have you any other way.”

 


End file.
